“So are you guys like, a
thing?” That’s the question that my best friend asked me as we sat in a booth
eating greasy French fries and instantly regretting not going to the gym that
week. I had just finished telling her about the amazing guy with whom I was
friends and the blissfully perfect kiss we had shared. I pondered the question
as I dipped another fry into the puddle of Ketchup plopped in the middle of the
takeout box. “Ummm… I guess so? I really like him and he said he likes me, but
we haven’t gone on an actual date yet.” As I said the words I quickly wished
they were not true. I am a firm believer in the old-fashioned dating game. I
want to go out on dates and talk and laugh and get to know each other. I love
the thought of waiting for that first kiss; the anticipation of the first date;
the butterflies, the making sure you look okay, and the overanalyzing every
little detail with your best friends in the morning. I just don’t think this is
how relationships begin these days.
This guy is great. He’s
amazing. He’s smart, hilarious, and so extremely caring. He is considerate and
gentlemanly. We can sit for hours and talk and never get bored or we can sit in
silence and do our homework and it’s so natural and somehow still fun. One
night, my blood sugars were kinda crazy and he not only walked me back to my
dorm to make sure I was okay, but insisted on staying until my blood sugar was
at a stable level and I was positive I would be able to fall asleep and wake up
in the morning. He did all this without a single thought, despite the fact that
he had an early class and a paper to edit in the morning. He’s the kind of guy
you are proud to know and proud to be friends with. I am so incredibly blessed
that he chose me to grow close to and form a relationship with.
I can’t call him my
boyfriend though cause we technically aren’t dating. When I want to describe his
role in my life to others, it becomes a confusing array of jumbled words. He’s
my friend first and foremost. He’s someone I trust. He’s the guy I love to just
lay and cuddle and watch a movie. But he’s not my boyfriend. He’s not my friend
with benefits either. He’s my potential I guess.
Why, in this age of extreme
connections and casual relationships, is it so hard to define what someone is
to you? Why are people so seemingly against labeling relationships? When
someone means a lot to me, I want to celebrate that. I want to express how
important they are to me. I am not the kind of person who wants everyone to
know my business. Actually, I am a pretty private person when it comes to my
personal life. However, I feel that labeling the role someone plays in your
life is just as, if not more, meaningful and important to them as it may be to
the way people view your relationship. Labeling the relationship is a way of
saying “hey, I like you and you are a really important part of my life and this
is the title I think of when I think of you.”
I don’t have a label on
this “thing” I have with this amazing guy. We haven’t made anything “Facebook
official” (I’m not a fan of that. It just makes things awkward when/if you don’t
work out). We don’t know what to call each other except for really important to
the other. But I know he cares a lot about me. I know he likes me (at least a
little) and I know how I feel about him. So, while a label on this “thing”
would be nice, I’m okay for now.
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